Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Where Do We Come From, Finally Answered

For years I have known the truth, and now through the technological innovation of blogging, I feel my message can be heard for the first time. You see, I know the truth about how we got here and how we developed as a species. All the religions of the world have suppressed the truth for hundreds of years, but a small group of us has clung to the truth through oral histories, passing on the story from generation to generation. I am the last of my kind now, and it is time for the whole world to know. You see, human beings were put here on Earth. Yes, specifically placed here. Who put us here? Religion likes to call it 'God.' That's fine. For all the stories and abilities assigned to such an entity, for the most part, you can call it true, just merely overly simplistic. We were put here by an omnipotence capable of creation. But it wasn't a one-entity 'god.' No, you see, we were put here by a technologically-advanced alien race.

The stories are all true in allegory. We were to them like children. They nurtured and cared for us, loved us, taught us, and protected us. All the Earth was a Garden of Eden under their watchful eye and advanced capabilities and technology. And they stayed with us to guide us and live among us, but in the end, we pissed them off. The specifics of what it was we actually did are lost to us. Suffice it to say, it was not as simple as eating an apple. Many of my past colleagues have surmised it could have been waging war, but I'm not thoroughly convinced, but nonetheless, in the end, they left us and took everything they had ever bestowed upon us with them. Their ships left, never to return. They told us to fend for ourselves on this harsh planet, without aid of their climate control, universally capable health systems, peaceful guidance, protection, and succor.

And when the last ships left, we were stranded here alone and unfathered. And the people spread out across the world. We separated into races and nations and divided ourselves into groups and factions. And nothing of the advanced alien technology and knowledge was left behind. Except one thing. One element of their learned culture they left behind. Whether they left it on purpose or merely forgot it, we at least have one thing left to remind us that life and the world can some day again be as perfected and blissful as it was when we were cared for and loved and protected and nurtured. And that one and only form of advanced culture left to us is... the recipe for chocolate.

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