Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Tagline for the Movie of My Life

One of those common questions people like to toy with is, 'In the movie of your life, who would play you?' Since Brad will never return my phone calls, I thought I'd get a little more esoteric. What would the movie of my life include? Which scenes would end up most poignant, and then what would the underlying message of such a movie end up? Which leads me to a better exercise.

Every movie has a tagline, used in promoting it, to sum up what the movie promises. Many of these taglines become catch-phrases themselves and can outlive the movie in fame, such as, "Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water;" or "Sometimes when you reach for a dream, you have to leave something behind." So i started to think, what would the tagline be for the movie of my life? I've been narrowing it down.

"Sometimes the journey is more interesting than the results. Sometimes neither does much."
"Did you ever get the feeling you weren't being watched?"
"Truth. Beauty. Life. Love. Or this..."
"Take only photographs. Leave no evidence."
"All roads lead somewhere. This one is more like a circular driveway."
"So many men, so little interest."
"One man. One life. One trauma after another."
"You'll laugh. You'll cry. It's better than CATS."
"Today is the first day of the rest of your pain."
"It may be lonely at the top, but it's not so great down here either."

Monday, November 29, 2004

To iPod or Not To iPod

There are so many issues in the world today. After the election, we are all still a little surprised and dismayed to realize there are so many Bush voters out there. Who are these people? It's more and more important to separate from them. I don't want to shop in their stores, buy their products, meet them, be nice to them. Dog forbid I ever invite one to my home for dinner at unawares.

I take care about everything I do now, every group I join, every organization I claim membership to. I make every attempt to make sure there is no way I could misidentify. I don't order pizza from Domino's. I don't go to church. I cross against the light. I don't watch NASCAR, and I've given up bowling. And I will try as hard as I can not to travel into the Red States (though I may have to make an except for Las Vegas). I want to be identifiable as a Manhattanite, a Blue Stater, a bleeding Liberal, a bitter activist against this regime. Every group I join must profess the same ideals that I do.

With that said, I must now seriously consider whether or not to join a new rising sector of society. Should I buy an iPod? I mean, I just don't know. What kind of people are they? At first thought, I would think, OK, these are folks on the forefront of new technology, movers and shakers, lovers of popular music, hipsters, relatively young in comparison to your typical K-Mart shopper or league bowler. But there's something strange about them, too. What are they listening to in those ubiquitous white earplugs? Is there something going on that I don't know about? Maybe they're linked into the Grand Ol' Conspiracy. Maybe they are part of a People's Army espousing their own form of will against every day man. Could it be that iPod owners were the real swing voters in the election? Maybe they're all listening to Ann Coulter on downloaded audio.

I just don't know. But most importantly, they will never ever get me to give up jaywalking. And somehow I don't think that's the best combination anyway.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004


Welcome to fagblog. Where you'll find nothing of merit and even less of renown. If I fail to offend you at any time, I apologize.

With no plan for the future and no idea where I want to take you, I launch ahead, much like the current administration. All I can say is, if I didn't plan it, I can't be blamed.