I just want to say, right upfront, so there is no arguing the fact: I'm weird. I've been aware of this for quite a while. I'm 38 years old, but I still find myself bouncing up the stairs and humming a jaunty little tune -- yes, in the office at work. I don't just stand there when I'm waiting -- I balance on one foot, then another. I kick my heel with the other foot, lean over, bounce up and down. I sing completely out of key, talk to myself, juggle pens, toss my empty ceramic mug up in the air on my way to the kitchen to get water -- haven't dropped it yet --, stick my tongue out at some people instead of saying hello, cross my eyes and try to look at the tip of my nose. I still toss pencils up at the drop ceiling to see if they'll stick. And I'm still fascinated trying to balance small objects on my fingertip. I giggle when people say words like shaft, balls, stick, wood, hole -- I tell ya, there's not a sport I can watch.
But I really have to watch myself. Do you ever notice that freak on the subway? There's one on every car. It's usually the homeless guy having an argument with himself. Every now and then, though, I have to stop and realize -- you know what? Sometimes... it's me. Doing a runner's stretch while holding the hanging strap. Or attempting to stand without holding on pretending I'm on my snowboard. Or singing loud enough to be overheard. Or laughing at one of those ads above your heads. It's even worse at work. With a smaller population, I'm convinced there's no denying that I am without a doubt The Weird One. What 38 year old man walks up the stairs by taking two steps up, then one back, then two steps up..? Just this morning I realized I might have to make a very serious concerted effort to stop being this weird... when I was standing at the urinal balancing a book on my head.