Wasn't It Enough?

Seriously. Wasn't it enough that to be a celebrity you had to be a good actor; you had to have a good agent who would get you in for the best parts; you had to deal with your fame -- you give up being able to walk to the grocery store without paparazzi stalking you; you had to appear with creepy men like Jay Leno and David Letterman; you had to have cool friends and sign your name on posters and cards and in little stationery books. For some movies, you might have to learn how to fence; you might have to go live somewhere stupid for 6 months; you might have to learn a foreign accent, wear uncomfortable clothes, and have prosthetic skin or hair or alien antennae attached to your body for 10-14 hours a day. Then there's the press junket. Wasn't that enough to ask? Now celebrities have to be good at poker, too. And of course, they have to have a pet charity.